fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
handjob tips. give me some.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
