so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
