ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
