i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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