Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
