You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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