is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
