she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
