I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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