Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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