I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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