32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Randomize
