Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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