I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
why do cheetos always look like penises
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
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