So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
