just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
