Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
