You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
