Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
