I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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