mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
