your room smells of hookers.
And success
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
