It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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