Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
