you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Bang-toberfest begins!!
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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