we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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