my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
