Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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