she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
