Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
wow bdsm is so cute
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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