i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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