just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize