wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
