we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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