I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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