would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
