toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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