if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
