just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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