Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
