I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
