I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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