Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
