we have officially lost it.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
