i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
