My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
