her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
