I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
