She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
