so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
