I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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