I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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