You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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