dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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