I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
there is glitter all over my balls
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