He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
