I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
