love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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