Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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