haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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