i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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