I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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